Last Week (And a Half’s) Most Notable In-Game Moments
Have any of you tried to play WoW while a three-year-old is running around your mom’s apartment? Well, I have. And I DO NOT recommend it.
I went home to Arkansas for the holidays, and brought my laptop with me so that I could catch up on my WoW playing–I have been lazy/busy with shopping/lazy the past couple weeks, and my leveling had not advanced in….awhile–and I learned that playing WoW while I am home for the holidays is futile. There’s just no way I could get anything done! Especially when your step-sister’s son wants you to play Don’t Break the Ice over and over and over again with him.
Which leads me to this–I do not know how all of you parents out there play WoW. I am baffled and bow down before you.
Anyway. I had New Year’s Eve off of work and I played for, like, seven hours or something like that, and then I did the same yesterday and FINALLY dinged 85 at, like, 2 AM. (Yay me!!!!) As you can imagine, I now have some pretty notable in-game moments for you guys to check out. *notable moments beckon you*
1. Let’s start with something disgusting, shall we?
If for some reason you have not heard of the horrific torture porn The Human Centipede, well, I envy you. Here’s a quick and as-non-offensive-as-I-can-make-it recap of what this disgusting film is about: Crazy scientist kidnaps three people, surgically unites them ass-to-mouth and somehow figures out how to make them share a digestive system, and then tortures them until they die terrible, awful, disgusting digestive system-induced deaths.
And that is what the above screen shot is referencing. You’re welcome.
2. I am 14-years-old.
Despite the fact that I know that WoW involves a cult of people dedicated to the Twilight something-or-other organization and that I was flying through Twilight Highlands, I still immediately thought “Blizzard seriously put in an altar to Twilight?!”
And then I felt silly.
3. Speaking of Twilight…
The first thing I thought when I saw this guy was “Blizzard is obviously referencing Taylor Lautner’s Jacob Black.”
Apparently, I really want Blizzard to add this. So I guess to appease myself and make everyone else roll their eyes, I will deem “Chesty” Jake a reference to the-also-chesty Jacob Black.
4. Nerd Jokes!
I don’t like/understand math, but I know what a sine wave is. And the above comment made me laugh.
5. Sexual Innunedos….Go!
I can just imagine the Blizzard writers sitting around thinking about the copy for this quest…
*screen goes all hazy and opens on two guys in a room*
Writer 1: “Dude. I am tired and I’ve had, like, 15 Red Bulls. How many more of these damn things do we have to write tonight?”
Writer 2: “Just one, dude. It’s for an Uldum quest.”
Writer 1: “That’s the Egypt-themed zone, right?”
Writer 2: “Yeah, man. What’s a good name for a weapon there?”
Writer 1: “Dude, wouldn’t it be funny if we called it, like, The Shaft of the Stars.”
Writer 2: “YEAH MAN.” *laughs* “OMG DUDE. I HAVE THE GREATEST IDEA. LET’S CALL THE QUEST ‘JUST THE TIP.'”
Writer 1: “Awesome bro! I love Wedding Crashers. Done and done.”
Writer 2: “Jager bombs?”
6. Hide Yo’ Face!
Looky! I’m a ninja-witch!…or a bandit with bad fashion sense…either way, there is NO STOPPING ME.
7. Deathwing Loooooves Me.
This is the second time I have seen him in two days. Doesn’t he know the guy is supposed to wait about two days before calling a girl? Build up the suspense? Someone needs to let him in on that.
8. Mein Kampf.
Mein Kampf during this whole tantrum? Not hearing Christoph Waltz‘s voice in my head. However–Blizzard must have an amazingly humungous amount of money…why couldn’t they just hire Waltz to voice Schnottz? Just sayin’.
9. Time for Me to Be a Grammar Nazi.
Okay, Blizzard. I’m fairly certain that the phrase “kicked the hornet’s nest” is not copyrightable because it is a colloquialism. And then we would all get a fun little Lisbeth Salander reference, and no one would have to be confused as to how and why and with what one would stir a hornet’s nest. Think about it–kicking the hornet’s nest makes it go away from you. Stirring it…just doesn’t make sense.
Unless, of course, this is some sort of Indiana Jones reference that I’m not getting. If that’s the case, then kindly disregard the above.
Just look at her! I am so many kinds of digging her hood. Want.