Which means I have a helluva lot of catching up to do.

*Catches up*

All right! I have read the Patch Notes. And I have thoughts on them. *grins madly*

1. It is Named Rage of the Firelands
But is it a swelling raaaaaage? Because if it isn’t, then it should be.

2. Apparently Blizzard released a TON of information about it. And they want us to do our homework.
I really love how sort of flippant this statement is regarding the new patchy patch:

“If you want to know what’s what before traversing the new content and features, we encourage you to wade through all of the patch 4.2 information we’ve released . . . “

I’m sure it isn’t MEANT to be flippant. But because I was hiding in The Bethie Cave of Things She Does That Don’t Involve WoW, I was absolutely NOT following any sort of WoW info, and therefore I’m reading this statement as flippant. Also, I think there’s something about the use of the phrase “wade through” that both acknowledges there is a lot of info and says to the reader “USE YOUR EYES AND READ, ASSHOLE.” I like that attitude, actually.

3. There is a Rage of the Firelands Trailer!
It is nearly four frakkin’ minutes long! That is INCREDIBLY long in my book. Also, I didn’t realize Aggra’s name is pronounced “AH-gra,” which only makes me think of au gratin potatoes. But that is neither here nor there. Oh, and also: apparently it IS a swelling rage. I’m glad we cleared that up.

Ok, another thing about this trailer. I’m constantly impressed with the trailers and cinematics Blizzard produces. I just wanted to put that out there.

4. We Can Roar!!!!!
All I can say is, it better be mighty-sounding.

5. Dungeon Journal
I think this sounds promising. And, actually, it sort of sounds like an Add-On I had at one point. [Poor Add-On makers . . . ] I know y’all have been using it for a bit, so, please, tell me your thoughts on it.

6. BRING ON THE COMBAT DANCING
“Players are once again free to dance in combat (without causing graphic errors). . . . Fun has been unnerfed.” 

This is so West Side Story that I don’t even know what to do with myself. Just, AWESOME.

7. They Made Pally Healing Harder
I think I’m reading this correctly. I mean, it’s entirely possible that I’m not, but . . . I think I am.

• Divine Light mana cost has been increased to 35% of base mana, up from 30%.
• Flash of Light mana cost has been increased to 31% of base mana, up from 27%.
• Holy Light mana cost has been increased to 12% of base mana, up from 10%

I’m sure this happened because pally healers had TOO MUCH POWER or something, but, as a pally healer I’m ok with that. Buuuut since I haven’t played in months and months, I won’t complain.

8. BEAR CUB! MUSHROOM CHAIR! HIPPOGRYPH!
I cannot adequately describe my excitement for these things. So instead, imagine lots of squealing and bouncing. Because that is what I am doing.

9. Bye Bye Key Ring!
It’s not like I ever used you anyway, but I will still miss you.

10. Random, Awesomely Written Lines from the Patch 4.2 Notes

“Vanessa VanCleef (Heroic difficulty) now has a sweet, sweet voice to accompany her dialog.”

“The Reins of the Dark Phoenix, purchased from the Guild Vendor, has had its art improved. It’s now less transparent and indisputably more awesome.”

“D.E.H.T.A. has recently placed a great number of critters under their protection, especially rabbits and squirrels. Because of this, Flintlocke’s Woodchucker has been re-fitted to use wild chickens until an “agreement” can be reached.”

Sometimes, I really really like the Blizzard writers. They can be a funny bunch. I like that.

Alright, so those are my reactions to the Patch Notes! If there’s anything I didn’t react to, that I should have, or if there are things I NEED TO KNOW, tell me allll about it in comments.

So it has been SOME MONTHS since any of y’all have heard from me. I sort of went into hiding and had to wallow/wander about/re-prioritize my life for a bit.

Mostly, that’s me making excuses for being a silly, silly girl. But you understand, right?

Right! Wonderful, moving on. What is of importance is that I have found my way BACK to where I believe I NEED TO BE, and now am ready to be back HERE again.

So now I will UPDATE you on the things that have happened in my life since we last typed with each other. It’ll be like those really annoying Christmas updates, except this one will not be as annoying.

I hope.

1. I went to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. With my MOM. 

This actually happened back at the end of March/early April, but I don’t think I ever told y’all about it on the blog. I sure as hell tweeted about it. Anyway, here are some PICTURES of THAT.

Butterbeeeeeeeer!

2. I saw Andrew Bird in concert, with my seester. ‘Twas fun. 

3. I saw Taylor Swift in concert.

This was not a planned event, it just sort of happened. Kind of like this:

*phone rings*

“Hey, dad.”

“Hey, B. You wanna go see Taylor Swift this weekend?”

“Um, sure, I guess.”

“Ok, cool. There are two tickets under your name at Will Call.”

“Awesome, thanks, Dad!”

Yeah, that’s basically how that happened. So I went and saw T-Swizzle, and she is actually really, really good in concert. Fun and adorable and didn’t sing off-key one time!

4. I have read MANY BOOKS and have BLOGGED about them. 

If you would like book recommendations, lemme know. I’m good at things LIKE THAT.

5. I bought a shirt that makes me unbelievably happy. 

6. I had a very Rory Gilmore-kind of day, and took a quick trip to New Haven to hang out on the Yale campus. 

7. I had a (very) brief affair with online dating. 

I am prepared to use this information in an “Of Love & Warcraft” post if you think that would be OF INTEREST to you.

8. I have been working on my novel(s). A lot.

9.  I saw Josh Ritter read from his new book and play some songs in a Barnes & Noble. 

10. I took a little trip to visit some friends and D.C.

I sat in a pool while the sun was shining, and did NOT get sunburned. In fact, I got a little bit of a tan.

Alright, I think that’s all. What have YOU been up to this summer? Hmmmm?

It’s ONE thing to put giant, creepy spiders in the game, but to include a portion of MY name in the name of the fire spider (I know that’s not what they’re called, but I like saying fire spider) in the Firelands raid is JUST rubbing my face in my own fear, you schadenfreude-loving bastards.

But you know what Blizzard? I’m not going to be afeared. This giant, creepy, fire spider and I are kindred. KINDRED!

BEHOLD! SPIDER BETHIE!

Okay, so her name is actually Beth’tilac (but you know that already don’t you, reader? . . . Show off.) and the best part about her is this: she has a TITLE. Her name is Beth’tilac, The Red Widow!

HOW BADASS IS THAT?!

Anyhow, Patch 4.1 came out, and there are new SHINY things for everyone to do/experience/see in Azeroth right now. Although at this point I’m sure y’all have already done it all and are like “Patch 4.1 is OLD HAT. Bring on the Firelands! *thunderclap*”

Unfortunately, I cannot bring you the Firelands (click the linky…it’s the best I can do) and therefore I will give you my sort-of cracked and silly thoughts on Patch 4.1-type things. And some other things.  *smiles mischeviously*

1. GURUBASHI 

Alright! So on Tuesday I got home from work and downloaded the patchy-patch and headed down to STV to do the new quests. I don’t know why, but somehow I always forget that Blizzard enjoys torturing me. I should have put two and two together when I realized I was going to STV to quest, but I didn’t. I just flew down there and found the angry Gurubashi ghost-lady and as soon as she started accentuating her S’s (esses? I really don’t know how to spell letters phonetically. Except for the letter “h.” It’s spelled phonetically like this: aitch.) I remembered ‘Ah yes. Blizzard likes snakes.’ So here’s what I have to say to that: Fuck you and your snakes Blizzard. And your mutant bugs! *shakes fist* *eats Nutella* *calms self down* I guess the saving grace here is that I get to kill the snakes and mutant bugs. That does help. Alright, I’m sorry Blizzard. I rescind my eff-bombing you. Friends?

2. PANTHER CUB

OH MY GIDDY GOD LOOK AT THE PANTHER CUB!!!!!!!! Blizzard, if you will give me the panther cub I will never cuss you ever ever ever ever ever again. Ever.

3. PATHER CUB IS MIIIIIINE!

BLIZZARD!!!! You love me! And I love you back! *spins in circle* *kisses panther cub*

4. PENGUIN WALLPAPER

Alright, so after the grand acquisition of the panther cub, I ended up doing BH the next night with my guildy-guild. Other than receiving some really kick-ass healing pants, I learned from a guildie that you can travel to Wintergrasp and purchase a WINTERSPRING CUB. I figured that my new panther cub needed a little feline friend, so I set out to find the adorable little winterspring cub.

BTW, you have to go to Everlook to get it. I had never been to Everlook. TURNS OUT when you go inside a building in Everlook there is PENGUIN WALLPAPER. !!!!!!!!! Want. Want for my apartment. It would go very nicely with my inflatable moose head.

5. Winterspring Cub

Look at how cute and pretty she is!  OMG! I just realized that in my acquisition of the kitteh cubs, I now have a Ceiling Cat and a Basement Cat. Oh happy day!

ALRIGHT! Moving on!

6. Steampunk BUNNEH

So other than kittehs and penguin wallpaper, Everlook also have RABBOTS. I think I love Everlook.

7. Punk Rock Princess

Holy pop culture reference, Batman! This JUST MIGHT be the most obscure one that I’ve run across while playing this game. If you find yourself in the DK starting zone, you can find Siouxsie the Banshee over by where the skele-gryphons gryphotons hang out. She is awesome. If you are sitting there thinking, “Bethany, WTF are you talking about right now?” then PROCEED to the video below. It’s worth your while.

So that was my week in WoW! What was YOURS like, hmmmm?

Today we are going to discuss leveling-type things.

I know,  I know. All I ever do is level toons. You’re thinking (My guild and The Wow Guys are both constantly asking) “Bethie, why the eff aren’t you learning how to actually play the game with your level 85 main?!”

*evades question*

By now, I hope to Ceiling Cat that you know about my penchant for all things bizarre and silly. Because it’s about to get alll kinds of bizarre and silly up in here.

Let’s start with the creepy. Just get it out of the way.

Yes, dear reader, that is worgen-on-worgen violence in the grand Reign of Terror style. I’m not really sure how or why this particular event came to pass, but. There it is. What I will say is that Blizzard REALLY missed an opportunity by not naming the worgen that isn’t about to lose his head Robbespierre.

Alright. Ready for more creepy? Gooooood.

Mhmmm. Dead body. Hanging. You can also see Bristowe being all stealthy. Yeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaah. STEALTH!

Alright let’s get away from the creepy and MOVE THE EFF ON.

Here’s a cute little story to counter-balance the creepy. The other day (week? I can’t keep up with time anymore) Nick and I were logged in at the same time (RARE occurrence these days :/) and we were playing the “‘What do you wanna do?’ ‘I don’t know, what do YOU wanna do?’” game. So instead of standing there staring at his character in the middle of the Trade District in SW, I decided to play hide and seek with him. (Not kidding.) One of the places I ended up hiding was in a boat where I found THIS PERSON:

Now, what I need to know is this: WHY HAS NO ONE EVER TOLD ME ABOUT THE MOTHEREFFING COFFEE VENDOR?! You are all at fault here. *glares*

LITERARY REFERENCES, FTW!!!!!!!!! *does happy dance* (which I really need to record and show you guys. Y’all should tweet me at random to remind me to do this.)

UPSTAIRS, INDOORS COW!!!!!!

Now, for those of you who are not acquainted with the story of what happens to cows when they go up stairs, here it is: They can walk up the stairs, but are physically incapable of walking down the stairs. It has something to do with the way their knee joints work. All I know is that Blizzard has done this poor cow quite the injustice. If they’re gonna put the cow upstairs, the least they can do is give us the ability to tip it and get some kind of kick-ass cow-tipping achievement. (ARKANSAS PRIDE, Y’ALL!)

So, that was my week in-game! Tell me aaaaaaall about yours in comments!

And now I’m going to tell you about my thoughts on Season 4.

Overall, I liked this season. I greatly enjoyed Season 3 and the animosity that grew between The Knights of Good and the Axis of Anarchy (WIL WHEATON!), and was glad to see Wheaton show up as Fawkes in Season 4. I liked him and his kilt-wearing, douche bagginess, which is weird since I normally have a low tolerance for douche bagginess. (Conversely, I have a very high tolerance for kilts.) Somehow he pulls it off.

Anyway. Other than Wheaton, I have grown really fond of Robin Thorsen’s Clara. Do I still think she’s a horrible, horrible mother? Absolutely. But she’s hysterical. And, in this season, Clara and Tink become friends, and the two of them together is just the best.

However, my favorite aspect of The Guild Season 4 is what you see below. All you need to know is that it shows up A LOT.

Now that I’ve said the nice words, it’s time for the not nice part. Despite of all the nice character growth that happened in Season 3, there’s one character that I’m never going to like–and that character is Zaboo. Holy Buddah, I find him annoying. Sure he’s considerate and loyal, but he is freaking weird and creepy. [DON'T DO IT CODEX. DON'T DO IT. I think that if they hook up in Season 5, I will gag and die. That's mean. But it's also the truth.]

Anyyyyyway, one thing the writers of The Guild truly excel at are writing solid finale episodes–both the Season 3 and Season 4 finales are super fun and boast some really great cameo appearances. I don’t want to spoil them in case you are interested, but THIS PERSON is in the Season 4 finale. I won’t tell you in what capacity, just know that it made me heart happy in a very nerdy kind of way.

To sum up, I liked Season 4, I like Clara & Tink as besties, I like creepily romanticized portraits, I intensely dislike Zaboo, and I’m very concerned about Season 5. What did youuu think about it? (If you haven’t seen it, and would like to, it’s streaming on Netflix and Amazon Prime.)

It’s been awhile, eh? Well that is about to be remedied, because not only am I about to start blogging like a maniac again, but you can HEAR me talk about WoW on this week’s The WoW Guys podcast. Click here. It’ll take you to iTunes where you can download the podcast to your music-playing device fo’ free dollahs, and listen to it over and over and over again.If you’re concerned about why it is marked “Explicit,” it is fully because of my use of the word “bitch” twice in the first eight minutes. The language never gets worse than that, and if you can’t handle the word “bitch,” then you probably shouldn’t read my blog.

But for those of you who can handle my dirty, dirty mouth GO LISTEN TO IT NOW.

Unlike my lovely pally, my roguey wears leather (yeahhh), which provides a whole new scheme of colors to peruse since leather is obviously easier to dye than mail and plate armor. (Obviously.) So with my rogue Bristowe, there comes a whole new fashion experience that is at times appalling and at others, kind of awesome.

Check out what I mean (and what I think I might wear to Blizzcon!) after the jump.

The Banana

Yep. It was fate for pretty miss Bristowe to dress in ALL FREAKING YELLOW at the same time, and not in the Kill Bill kind of way. I think this is the WoW equivalent to those times in middle school when I thought it was en vogue to wear brown corduroy overalls with an orange turtleneck and Doc Martins while I accessorized with a Tamagotchi. Let me clear this up: That outfit (and the one above) NOT okay.

The Clown

While this is better than the monochromatic monstrosity above, it isn’t much better. But at least it shows maturity and confidence in mixing colors. Although, it must be said that the vest does accentuate the, um, chest quite nicely, huh?

The Man-Eater

Well, helloooo Bristowe! In this transformation, she’s gone from awkward, possibly colorblind girl to I’ll-kill-you-in-ten-seconds-and-look-hot-while-doing-it sexy badass. [Btw, this is the one I would consider wearing to Blizzcon. However, I honestly don't know if I have the self-confidence to wear such an outfit! Mostly because the words I would use to describe myself are neither "sexy" nor "badass."More like..."layered" and "witty"] I want her to wear this forever.

The Almost Doesn’t Count

Back sliding, much? I can deal with the shoulders-as-fashion-statement business, the green chest piece, and even the weird colored shoes and blue gloves, but those pants?! They are gauchos–and yes, I did wear gauchos freshman year of college because I decided it was better to be comfy than look good…I have since decided it’s better to feel comfy AND look good. (That basically means I wear a lot of leggings. And perhaps I have a pair of jeggings. Shut up.) Moral of this story–we are almost there. This could be an okay, but not as good as the last one kind of outfit (which is okay because not every outfit can be THAT GOOD.) if it weren’t for those damn pants.

So there you have it folks! As soon as Bristowe gets out of those damn gauchos, I will post an updated picture that will probably be accompanied by a video of fireworks or an adorable Samoyed puppy or something.

Let me know which is your favorite look in comments, and if you are in the know, talk to me about Blizzcon fashion. I am very curious about this.

The four of them went to one of their houses and played video games together. Although they didn’t play WoW (or any MMO actually), something incredible happened–Linda Holmes, the pop culture editor, vocalized my EXACT feelings about the stress of having to work with others while playing! (Side note: I love Linda Holmes. I want to be her. That sounds creepy, but if you knew me IRL, and listen to/read Linda’s stuff, then you would better understand. I think she is my current life role model.)

Aaaaaanyway, Here’s the link and if you would like to hear Linda eloquently vocalize my feelings, skip to around 16:30 and listen to around 18:30. Or if you’re super awesome, you’ll just listen to the whole thing.

This just might be my favorite–it has that foggy London, Dickensian/Holmesian feel and everyone wears top hats (including me!).I don’t know about you, but that’s my kind of place, with or without werewolves. Actually, the first time I saw Gilneas and realized the werewolfy zone was uber-British, I giggled with joy and remembered why I want to play pop culture trivia with the WoW writers.

It’s just so charming! Not that a changing, war-filled area is typically charming, but you know, the Britishness and 19th century feel of it all is super charming. (I’m a bit of an Anglophile if you couldn’t tell…) Okay, so other charming things in Gilneas!

You get to go on a crazed carriage ride, which is exactly the way that I like my carriage rides.

There’s art that is a definite nod to the Hudson River School.

There’s a  collection of art on one wall that makes ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE together…which obviously means that I dig it.

And perhaps the best thing about Gilneas? SYLVANAS COMES TO PLAY!

Okay, so she comes to attack, and I’m a giant traitor for being obsessed with her instead of hating her, but so what? Sure I hid in a baptismal and “spied” on her conversation, but did I actually listen? Absolutely not. I took discrete and creepy pictures of her instead.

Sadly, Sylvanas does not feel the same way about me and mine, so she brought some sort of plague with her and infected my lovely, charming, perfectly lugubrious Gilneas and forced us to make friends with the night elves and go live with them in Darnassas, which just so happens to be one of my other favorite zones. Soooo thanks Lady Syl!

So yeah! Gilneas was awesome. And I will miss it. But at least now I get to hang out in the prettiest zone!